I was initially working on a post titled Why Life Can Be Terrifying, then I realized it was pointless. When I write, it's usually because a moment of inspiration hit me and I need to get it out or it's gone forever. When I began working on the aforementioned post, I was overwhelmed with the weight of life.
You see, my fiancee and I just bought a house. Yes, we are twenty years old, still in school, and we bought a house. Its out of the norm, but this has been one of the happiest, proudest moments of my life. I've found myself standing in the middle of my living room staring around in awe, amazed that this entire house is mine.
But life reminds me that buying a house comes with a lot of responsibility. It's not just paying a house payment and a utility bill. Just in our first week of homeownership, we've replaced a stove, fixed our fridge, and ripped our new kitchen floors doing said projects. Another todo on my list of ever-expanding things to get done. I wouldn't trade it for the world.
However, upon contemplation of all the things I need to get done (bills, home-owning, wedding, relationships, school, work, this, that, etc.), anxiety tends to swell up inside of me until I feel like I could burst. I get overwhelmed and my mind's like "Bro, you got a lotta shit to do" to which I respond, "I'll get it done tomorrow."
Ah, the procrastinator's conundrum. How many times have you promised yourself you'd get that super-important-thing-that-needs-to-be-done-now done tomorrow? Then when tomorrow comes around, you tell yourself you'll have more time later all while browsing Facebook and not getting much else done.
Why do I do this? Because it's easier to put off the responsibility when I promise myself I'll do it later even though I probably won't. A form of instant gratification by pretending to be productive. You see?
Point is you'll never be who you want to be if you keep putting things off. I am (self-proclaimed) the world's biggest procrastinator. I'm getting better — hence the recent influx of posts — yet it's a struggle. I have to remind myself that this is a journey, and I'm the only one leading the way.
Life isn't always going to be sunny days and beautiful roses, it's going to throw you down in the dirt and stomp on you while you're down. It's about getting back up, learning from it, and becoming a better person. If you let it, life will keep you down forever. Get up and take it by the horns or you'll forever have a tainted image of the world.